With Gina Field, Nepean Regional Security

WHO attended the real festival in Penrith? I reckon the whole city was there and their dogs.

The subject matter of the bonehead has really intrigued me for a long time and the study of the human forces is even better. It is like I can buy popcorn at a festival and just watch for hours, and probably pull faces that my face yoga teacher would hate (yes, my beloved readers – there is such a thing as face yoga classes) go figure. People arrive and pull faces for an hour and pay for the privilege- I remember Mum used to say to me – pull a face like that and the wind changes and you will stay like that forever, now it is what all the super models do for an ageless smile. Aliens would see us and say, “keep flying, don’t stop.”

Now please, not everyone is a bonehead, so calm the farm.

I had an amazing time walking for 16 hours, mainly in 35 degree heat on the Sunday and spoke to many people (many people) like lots of people, it was like information overload, a wellness stand. I was happy to be told that standing in horse dung is also now a thing, you know you are living the dream, standing in horse sh*t (Just sayn).

All of these new wellness things, like standing in a room and breathing air, I never in my lifetime thought I would pay for oxygen. However I also said that about bottled water; now my dog sips Voss water from a wine glass, the pot plants, and the cat insists on Mount Franklin.

Just imagine.. as kids we would eat dirt, now we drink triple filtered water with a twist of lemon. The planet is in good hands for the future.

My ultimate enjoyment is when the veins are popping out of a mother’s neck, screaming at her darling children, and then proceeding to call it a fun night as she pushes the pram with kids hanging off it, drenched in ice cream and snot and Dad bee-lining for the bar. Now that is when you know you are living the dream. Lost children are always fun – NOT- and its like a duration race for the fittest and quickest, I could comment on this, but I don’t want my house egged.

So I was walking through thousands of people, bumping into people and shuffling like the Oompa Loompas did in Charlie and Chocolate Factory (I was probably just as orange as well). Food lines were as long as the eye could see and a woman with four dogs was waiting in line for dumplings. After waiting for about forty minutes, someone pushed past her resulting in her losing the entire lot- to the total excitement of her dogs. I would have round kicked someone with an upper cut, but I guess the dogs loved the twenty-eight-dollar dumplings; it’s the sacrifice you make in the name of love and drool. Maybe it was a doggone accident (sorry – Dad joke).

My final fave thing is the family that believe a festival is the traditional rights to set up camp so big that, they have to pay Government land taxes, Mum, Dad, 17 kids, Grandad, Grandma, Aunt and Uncle, tents chairs, tables, kitchen sink, 5 hours of setting up for a 6 hour festival, I am always impressed, so are the 75 people that can’t see the stage or get a seat to watch the entertainment.

So, there you have it, a weekend of fun, and we will all be there next year to do it all over again!