Left of field

With Gina Field, Nepean Regional Security

Ahh, the wonderful time of Christmas, cheers and beers and maybe family tears as they say. I was listening to the good old Chrissy songs the other night, and realised the same old crap comes on year after year. Same songs, same regurgitated lyrics, same singers, maybe a couple of rappers here and there to spice it up a little.

There are only so many ways Michael Buble can sing Chrissy songs, BUT 2023 here we are (again), the Michael Buble Christmas Special is out. Great, I think to myself, I will add that to the 458 other albums I have of Michael Buble singing Christmas songs.

Then of course we need to listen to “All I want for Christmas is you,” by Mariah Carey, is it just me or am I being ungrateful? Because when she sings those words an evil voice in my head says, “screw that MC, give me Dior or Chanel any day biatches.”

I love Christmas, it the only time when you hear people say, “please don’t invite Aunt Myrtle and if you do, sit her near Uncle Bob, she needs to be closest to the toilets.” It is amazing how at Christmas you categorise the family members in accordance to likability. People you can just put up with, the one year only invitationers, the must haves, the hates, and the ones that you invite or someone will get upset, such as an ex or father or mother of someone, the separated and the list goes on.

We then dissect according to body features and smell such as second cousin Dean, who has flatulence and needs to clear the air (and the room).

Then last there’s John who won’t eat anything put in front of him and George who’ll try to steal everyone else’s portion. The extremely loud-when-drunk Kevin goes there at the end seat and last but not least in the high chair for the screaming brat who vomits every 10 seconds, that the neighbour brings over. Table set and job is done; let the fights begin.

So anyway, off track I go a little but John Lennon’s (JL), war is over, a very merry Christmas (sing the words in your head), song just came on, and it reminded me a couple of years ago when I decided I’d answer each lyric line considering the year we’d had.

JL: So this is Christmas and what have you done ….?

Me: Nothing John it’s called lockdown ya bonehead, Don’t you read the papers, We were stuck in prison for three months.

JL: Another year over and a new year one just began,

Me: Close but not yet get ya facts right, and while I am at it, can I have a refund on 2021 I think I was dudded half a year.

JL: And so this is Christmas,

Me: Yeah you said that five seconds ago, do ya have to repeat ya self, you sound like my husband now.

JL: I hope you had fun,

Me: do you see a smile on my face John?

JL: A very Merry Christmas

Me: Keep saying that John and I will round kick ya

JL: And a Happy New Year

Me: Okay John you are repeating yourself, I am hitting the off-button dude,

JL: War is over

Me: You obviously have not been at our family gatherings on Christmas then, JL

Me: Okay John, delete, I am heading over to Blink 182

So, I guess you are wondering what this all has to do with Security? Yeah me too, but talking back to John Lennon was fun.

Just a friendly reminder kids, please secure your houses, side gates, turn on your alarms and have security cameras on your home over Chrissy and New Year, there are some bad people that like your stuff more than you do and don’t feel the need to be able to have to pay for it.

Stay Safe, wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and hope you have lots a love, laughs and gatherings over the time.