Ahhh the Joys and the pitfalls of giving birth…… your wonderful bundle of joy has turned 18 and guess what? You as the doting parent have been asked (told, informed, directed) that it is your duty to throw a party in honour of them getting to this milestone.

Now, I will inform you that before you even order the cake or write the short invite list with Aunt Myrtle and Uncle Bob and a few second cousins. It’s already on the social media hitting about 2000 people that are (salivating) more than happy to gate crash your house and trash it for the occasion.

So what do you do? My answer is control, control, control. Take the party away from your house; hire a hall, its controlled by a finish time. Write a list and send out invitations, and be strict, no invitation no entry (Sorry Grandma Jo).

Access control, hire security to check off lists and hand out wrist bands and let them deal with the uninvited. The youth of today do like a drink and some are like fish drinking water, never know when to stop. My suggestion is that if there is going to be alcohol, have it controlled and no, not by grandad that has had 15 beers already and can’t stand up, telling war stories. A designated bar attendant (controller) and preferably someone with RSA (Responsible Service of Alcohol).

Oh also just a hint, the head of the party should also stay sober, I don’t know how many times I have spoken to the hall hirers that can’t even string two words together. (Not a good look…seriously now… come on). Another suggestion is just hiring a venue that can do all of this for you. Relax!

Music is very important so playing kungfu fighting at midnight when you are trying to clear the joint out is not a good idea. Try Beethoven’s greatest hits, in extended version.

So there you have it ….control is the answer. Your child may hate you for embarrassing them in front of their friends, however the party was a success (tick), no one was hurt (tick) your house wasn’t trashed (tick) your child will get over it (tick) and now you have time to organise the 21st. Good Luck!

Oh and don’t forget to tell the local Police you are having an 18th.