I was in the Gym parking lot the other day, just sitting there playing away on Facebook, and I happened to notice very young, very fit people attempting to park and then enter the Gym.

So, as I picked the stray hair that had grown from the bottom of my chin with tweezers, I continued to watch and observe the habits of these unique creatures.

Now, I know that this has absolutely nothing to do with anything or something of interest. However, what I did notice was that these very fit people were all attempting to park like ants, closest to the front door of the gym, leaving the back end of the carpark empty. Cars were packed in like sardines up the front, even to the point of breathing in, to open the door so as not to hit another car door. (some cars even double parked).

So, my next thought was, and let me get my head around this, they are going to the gym to get exercise, yet they can’t walk 100 metres from the back of the carpark, which is actually exercise? Okay, I have got it now. I was a tad confused there for a moment. (Thumbs up emoji).

Speaking of parking, has anyone noticed that you can go to a carpark, park in a spot with absolutely nobody around you, where the chances of another car heading there are better winning the 150 million powerball, however you come out and there are 15 cars right next to you? Its like our cars send off these pheromones to other cars to come closer. They secretly call out (silently) whilst you are shopping and setting off like a skunk smell calling on other cars, and the boneheads that are driving these vehicles (in a coma) are like magnets and park right next to you. Even if there are 75 other empty spots. Nup, there they are right next to you, even to the point that you can’t even get the trolley to the side of your car, to pack the groceries in.

I am fired up now, have you ever entered a full carpark, saw the reverse lights on a car in a car spot and thought, “Oh my GOD, this cant be real, a car spot!” It is like unveiling a gold bullion, there is a car (pant pant hyperventilation with excitement) leaving that spot, wooooo hooooo. So you excitedly place your blinker on to tell every other minion to back off, it’s yours, annnnnnnnnnnnnd the person in the driver’s seat just sits there. And sits there.. and sits there, with reverse lights on not moving, while other cars squeeze past you.

After 5 minutes with the blinker flicking away, you give the universal signal with your hand as if to say, are you leaving or what.. as you mouth a few other choice words (under your breath of course).  And the bonehead in the driver’s seat still sits there, doing God knows what.

So you eventually give up and make another loop, and when you are 26 kms away from your original car spot find,  the idiot then reverses out, totally oblivious that anyone was waiting for the spot. You frantically look over the top of other cars, watching helplessly as the car reverses out of YOUR spot, only to see a Volvo driver with a hat in the back window, drive in and salivate over the wonderous find.  

I am fairly certain that aliens turn off the invasion button when they fly over Earth, saying “and they call us weird.”

So, there you have it, folks, the bonehead disease strikes again; it doesn’t discriminate, and at any time, we can all become boneheads; it chooses its victims well.